I woke up early this morning from a somewhat disturbing dream.
I was escaping from a ruinous cityscape in a runaway vehicle with others including a little girl who seemed to be family to me. The vehicle was a minivan that was ripped open and could not stop. Like a train on a track.
We had to jump off into the grass as we reached our destination which was a meeting point to escape apocalyptic world of the dream. After we leaped off I asked the little girl if she was okay and she and I and a small group of people walked towards a building.
Someone asks me what I was going to do next. I said, "Start over like we all must. But we can never forget where we came nor how we got to this point."
I was sad but hopeful. The next thing that happened was that I was erecting a monolith with a history written on it's surface above the ground. The surface below had a cipher on how to translate what was written above, like a rosetta stone.
It was the end of the modern world in the dream. I know what it means in context of my life though. A lot has happened in a very short time. Frightening things. Things are ending and changing. But of course that part of me that is always optimistic (a part that has been failing me lately) was telling me that things will work out.
The symbolism is fairly easy to decipher. The ruined city is my situation at the moment. The runaway vehicle is my feeling of being out of control of my own life. The little girl is the part of me I am trying to protect, future. The monolith is my memory. The history written is the part I must not forget and the cipher is my future. The cipher is buried because I have to find my future and discover what it is bit by bit.
I'm stressed so I shouldn't be surprised by it. Obviously things have to change. Change is frightening but change is what's happening whether you make it your self or just let it happen.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
The madness of America
The following is something I was going to post on my wall on FB but I know it would cause a shit storm with some people I love and care about. So, I chose to put it here.
Common sense is a rare commodity in America it would seem. Madness and oppression is the new order. The pursuit of happiness is hijacked for the price of obedience to only one way of thinking.
Persecution the battle cry of the un persecuted now taken up by entities that are not human but now given rights as individuals with the power to oppress those that make up that entity.
Oppression in the guise of freedom. Madness in the guise of reason. Sin in the guise of morality. Insanity in the guise of patriotism.
America is falling apart and it is not from a lack of "god" but from a lack of common sense.
A little something I made for a friends post
Hope is the raft on which we float upon the river of life. It may be a delicate craft but it is made with care and love from ourselves and others. May it take you to your journey's end kindly.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Work in progress (Bottom)
The rocks ahead do not portend the coming of shore
Jagged and biting the remains of dreams and gore
No sandy beach to lay upon basking in the glory of the sun
only silty grave as blanket and deep darkness above
no, the shore that is seen not on a horizontal plain
but a vertical direction that only gravity may explain
rock bottom it's called with up the only way to be bold
but breath abated no longer can ye hold
fear is what brings you and in fear you remain
the distance so great the thought of travel insane
The crushing darkness so strangely comforting
No longer the threat of pain and hurting
It is safe below all that has past and shaming
No more the anger, fear or longing
Yet, there be that speck of color
That low glimmer of light
Perhaps enough to give strength to push from the bottom with might
Desperate swimming lungs burning
Struggling for the surface
Fingertips break free grasping for purchase
Again and again this may happen with waining of strength
When giving in seems easier than warring with the depth
Jagged and biting the remains of dreams and gore
No sandy beach to lay upon basking in the glory of the sun
only silty grave as blanket and deep darkness above
no, the shore that is seen not on a horizontal plain
but a vertical direction that only gravity may explain
rock bottom it's called with up the only way to be bold
but breath abated no longer can ye hold
fear is what brings you and in fear you remain
the distance so great the thought of travel insane
The crushing darkness so strangely comforting
No longer the threat of pain and hurting
It is safe below all that has past and shaming
No more the anger, fear or longing
Yet, there be that speck of color
That low glimmer of light
Perhaps enough to give strength to push from the bottom with might
Desperate swimming lungs burning
Struggling for the surface
Fingertips break free grasping for purchase
Again and again this may happen with waining of strength
When giving in seems easier than warring with the depth
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
A letter to a friend
I wrote this in response to a friends Facebook post that was dark and ominous. They were in obvious pain. I posted it under theirs instead of messaging them because I thought it important for others to know that this person had people on their side and I hoped that it was a good example to others as to how to treat someone in pain. Read below.
-----, I do not know your personal struggle. I do not know the path that has brought you here but I can empathize.
What I do know is that constant pain, whether physical and or mental, can take it's toll. I know the burden of strength for yourself and for others can weigh heavily. It brings with it it's own pain.
What I know is, if prolonged, pain is devastating within yourself or seeing it in others and not knowing what to do.
What I know is the doubt and confusion behind the thought, Is what I am doing, thinking and feeling right? Is this the correct path or is that?
What I know is that pain can be eased. How we wash it away is what is important. One path can be difficult and seemingly an impossible journey but once accepted can be most satisfying and enlightening. The other cycles the pain to others.
Our existence is not a bubble but a web that we weave daily. Touching on the lives of others. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes more subtle but never insignificantly.
Even the most humble of men can leave great footprints, perhaps not for all but for those that matter most, the ones that know them.
Lastly what I know is that I am your friend. The degree to which you agree with that does not matter but the fact remains. No struggle needs to be taken alone and perhaps that is the best thing that I know. I am here.
-----, I do not know your personal struggle. I do not know the path that has brought you here but I can empathize.
What I do know is that constant pain, whether physical and or mental, can take it's toll. I know the burden of strength for yourself and for others can weigh heavily. It brings with it it's own pain.
What I know is, if prolonged, pain is devastating within yourself or seeing it in others and not knowing what to do.
What I know is the doubt and confusion behind the thought, Is what I am doing, thinking and feeling right? Is this the correct path or is that?
What I know is that pain can be eased. How we wash it away is what is important. One path can be difficult and seemingly an impossible journey but once accepted can be most satisfying and enlightening. The other cycles the pain to others.
Our existence is not a bubble but a web that we weave daily. Touching on the lives of others. Sometimes in big ways, sometimes more subtle but never insignificantly.
Even the most humble of men can leave great footprints, perhaps not for all but for those that matter most, the ones that know them.
Lastly what I know is that I am your friend. The degree to which you agree with that does not matter but the fact remains. No struggle needs to be taken alone and perhaps that is the best thing that I know. I am here.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The hateful dead
Take no joy or satisfaction from the hateful dead. They are beyond redemption or compassion. They are past the asking of forgiveness or mercy or the righting of a lifetime of wrongs.
The hateful dead are to be pitied and mourned. They are the lost and lonely and no one should be either.
The hateful dead's legacy is an example of how humanity should not be. They leave a profound lesson. One that we should never forget, that hate, exclusion, bigotry and separatism only cause pain and suffering.
The hateful dead are not strangers, they are us. They are the ugly parts of everyone. The part we must acknowledge or be doomed to allow it out fully.
We only have each other in this world. Acceptance of one another's differences is what makes us stronger. The hateful dead never learn this lesson.
Do not forget the hateful dead. For once they are, we are doomed to repeat their abdominal acts. History must record them to pass their lessons far into the future so that mankind may evolve past evil.
Let us hope that those left behind by the hateful dead finally see the wrong in what they were taught and do not spread it further.
Love the hateful dead as the person they could have been if not for the pain they suffered for they suffered greatly.
Finally, know the hateful dead in you. We all have one inside. Take it and hold it. Comfort and ease its suffering. Teach it acceptance and compassion so that when it's time comes it is one of the joyful dead
-Bill Edwardson
http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/20/us/westboro-church-founder-dead/index.html?hpt=hp_c2
The hateful dead are to be pitied and mourned. They are the lost and lonely and no one should be either.
The hateful dead's legacy is an example of how humanity should not be. They leave a profound lesson. One that we should never forget, that hate, exclusion, bigotry and separatism only cause pain and suffering.
The hateful dead are not strangers, they are us. They are the ugly parts of everyone. The part we must acknowledge or be doomed to allow it out fully.
We only have each other in this world. Acceptance of one another's differences is what makes us stronger. The hateful dead never learn this lesson.
Do not forget the hateful dead. For once they are, we are doomed to repeat their abdominal acts. History must record them to pass their lessons far into the future so that mankind may evolve past evil.
Let us hope that those left behind by the hateful dead finally see the wrong in what they were taught and do not spread it further.
Love the hateful dead as the person they could have been if not for the pain they suffered for they suffered greatly.
Finally, know the hateful dead in you. We all have one inside. Take it and hold it. Comfort and ease its suffering. Teach it acceptance and compassion so that when it's time comes it is one of the joyful dead
-Bill Edwardson
http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/20/us/westboro-church-founder-dead/index.html?hpt=hp_c2
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